


Open

by Dessa



Series: Experimentation [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Phoenix Nest Discord, poor blueberry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-08-10 08:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20132554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dessa/pseuds/Dessa
Summary: Ezra's time with the Empire wasn't without its side effects... his mental shields are gone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read Test Subject, you'd better go read it now, because this is picking up right after it.

Something was wrong. Zeb could tell as soon as he woke up. It felt like someone was there, even though he and Ezra were the only two in the bunk. Climbing off his bed to check on the boy, he could see the kid's eyes scrunched up, even in his sleep.

“Kit, what's wrong?” It was his thoughts, but he hadn't spoken aloud. “What in the...?” The second time, he realized that it was Ezra's voice saying what was on his mind. Was this some sort of Force thing? If so, there was only one thing to do... “KANAN!”

It only took a moment for Kanan to respond to Ezra's (really Zeb's) call, but before he could say anything, Ezra voiced _his_ thoughts as well. “What's wrong?”

Zeb just shook his head.

“Something's wrong with the kit. He's voicing all of my thoughts, and I think I can feel him in my head. That's not good. Go get Ahsoka, I'll see if I can extend my shields to cover him. I don't know how far this extends, but, at the very least, he could leak some important intel if it's not gotten under control. On it, Boss.”

As soon as Zeb left the room, Kanan placed his hand on the side of Ezra's face, closing his eyes and concentrating. Almost instantly, his student relaxed, and he waited for Ahsoka to arrive. He wanted to meditate, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his shields extended while doing so.

Luckily, it wasn't long before Zeb returned, Ahsoka hot on his heels. She closed her eyes, concentrating on Ezra in the Force, before shaking her head and looking at Kanan. “He has no shields. At all. Not even natural ones.”

“Is that why he was in my head?” Zeb asked softly, and Ahsoka nodded.

“Force users subconsciously build natural shields, so that they're not constantly bombarded by the Force responding to everyone and everything around them. Given Ezra's penchant for connection... without shields, he'd have a hard time staying _out_ of other peoples' minds.”

“Can we do anything?” Kanan's voice dripped with worry.

“I'm not sure. We can help him rebuild his shields, but that won't help the underlying problem of what caused their destruction.”

“Let's take him to my quarters, so Zeb can get some sleep.”

“Thanks, mate. Take care of him for me, will you?”

“Always.”

~~~~~

Kanan had laid Ezra on his bed, sitting on the floor next to him, while Ahsoka knelt close by. The two shared a nod, then Kanan nudged his Padawan, both physically and in the Force. “Ezra, wake up, kid.”

With a groan, Ezra opened his eyes, blinking as he took in his surroundings and sat up. “Kanan? Why am I in your room? And why's Ahsoka here?”

Concern flooded through their bond, and Ezra was knocked back down. “W-what in the...?”

“Kanan is extending his shields to cover you, Ezra,” Ahsoka explained gently. “So you're feeling his emotions more strongly than behind your own.”

“Kanan's shields? But...”

Kanan lowered his shields for a brief moment, and instantly Ezra was assaulted by his, hers, and everyone else close enough's thoughts. He grabbed his head, right as Kanan put his shields back around the boy. Ezra clung to his Master in fear.

“Can you raise your shields, Ezra?” Ahsoka asked. The boy attempted to do so, but shook his head as they came crashing back down around him.

“Wh-what's happening to me?”  
  
“We don't know, kid. But it might have something to do with your... stay... with the Imperials.”

“C-can you fix it?” He looked pleadingly at Kanan, and then at Ahsoka.

“I've never heard of this happening. But we're going to find a solution, I promise you.”

“Wh-what about until then?”

Kanan looked to Ahsoka. He didn't know what to do, either.

“Ezra, do you remember when we put you into the trance to look at your memories?” He nodded. “There's something called a Hibernation Trance, that's very similar. I can place you in one, which will keep you stable until we can find a solution. But you won't be able to come out of it on your own. If something were to happen to Kanan or I...”

“I'd be stuck, right?” Ahsoka's nod and Kanan's feelings were all the confirmation he needed. “I-I'll do it. Just... try not to leave me for too long?”  
  


Kanan appreciated his student's attempt at humor, as Ahsoka moved to place her hand aside his face. His eyes fluttered closed, and his breathing evened. Kanan lowered his shields from around him, and there was no reaction.

“He'll be alright. We'll find a solution.”  
  


“Y-yeah...”

“We should take him to the med bay. They can keep him on fluids and nutrients there. And monitor his vitals.”

Kanan nodded, and gently picked Ezra up. They walked quickly to the med center, and as Kanan arranged Ezra as comfortably as he could, Ahsoka tried to explain the situation to the medic. She wasn't having the greatest luck, but he heard mention of “induced coma,” and that seemed to make enough sense. The medic quickly inserted IVs and got fluid and nutrient solutions ready. “I'll notify the both of you if there's any change.”

“Thank you,” Ahsoka told him, and guided Kanan out. “Get some sleep. You're going to have to explain this to your crew in the morning.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Ahsoka found a temporary solution. Ezra is not pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated August 21, 2019
> 
> Sorry this took a bit. It was very hard to write. Next chapter should be easier.

Ezra's first thought was that something was wrong. That _everything_ was wrong. He could feel the bed he was on, could hear the sound of machines beeping, but he couldn't _feel_ or _hear_ anything else. It was like something was wrong with _him_, in his head. He started panicking, opening his eyes. And he was shocked to see that he was in the med bay, with plenty of medics and other patients around. But he couldn't _feel_ any of them. It was like his eyes were lying to him. Which made him panic more.

“Bridger, please calm down,” a medic said, approaching him. Instinctively, he tried to push him away with the Force, but nothing happened. Which only served to increase his panic. The medic gestured to someone behind him, and a hypospray was pressed into his neck, instantly sedating him.

“Contact Jarrus and Commander Tano immediately,” the first medic instructed, readjusting the monitors to check Ezra's status.

~~~~~

When Ezra woke up again, he was slightly calmer, though not by much, because everything was still _wrong_. However, this time, he wasn't alone.

“Ezra?” It was Kanan's voice. Ezra sat up, looking over at his Master, and at Ahsoka next to him.

“What's going on? Why can't I...” he trailed off, unsure of what to say, or how to explain things.

“Why can't you feel the Force?” Ahsoka guessed. Ezra nodded.

Kanan looked down, avoiding Ezra's eyes. “We had to... we gave you a Force suppressant.”

“A Force suppressant?”

“It cuts off one's ability to connect with the Force,” Ahsoka explained.

“Y-you took away the Force?”

“It's not permanent,” Kanan insisted. “Just until we can find a solution.”

“So you just up and decided to _drug_ me, without even asking what I thought?!” Ezra's agitation was growing.

“You weren't exactly in a position for us to do so,” Kanan pointed out.

“You could have found a way!” It was probably a good thing, at this moment, that Ezra didn't have access to the Force. The room likely would not have survived.

“Ezra, there was no choice. Both Kanan and I had duties we were called away for, and we couldn't risk losing you,” Ahsoka kept her voice calm, trying to placate the boy.

“Losing me? What good am I without the Force? I'm just some Lothrat thief. You might as well have left me to die!”

Kanan bit his lip. Surely Ezra understood that he was more to them than just a Force user? “Ezra...” he started, but was cut off.

“No! I don't want to hear your excuses!” All the while, Ezra had been tugging off the connectors for the monitors, and as soon as he was clear, he bolted from the room.

Kanan immediately started to get up to follow him, but Ahsoka held his arm. “Let him go, he needs time to process.”

“Ahsoka...” Kanan knew she was right, but at the same time... “We can't track him through the Force right now. What if the suppressant wears off?”

“I'll alert Commander Sato. We'll have everyone keep an eye out for him, but not to approach him. We'll keep tabs on him, don't worry.”

The younger Jedi sighed, placing his head in his hands. “Did we do the right thing?”

“I don't know, Kanan. I don't know.”

~~~~~

Ezra didn't know where he was. He had found a supply closet that looked like it wasn't accessed often, and made his way carefully to the back. He spotted a few spare bedrolls, and pulled those back with him. He knew he'd have to secure food as well, but he was exhausted, his adrenaline having run out. So instead, he made himself a nest in the farthest corner, where he wouldn't be noticed even if someone came in to get something, unless they were looking for him.

Settling himself in the blankets, Ezra reflected on his situation. It had only been about a year that he'd even known what the Force _was_, but now, without it, Ezra finally understood what Kanan had said about it being all around him, and that he'd always been able to touch it. That instinct on who to trust and who not to trust. That foresight on when to run and when to lay low. The way he could cajole things out of just about anyone. The speed and deftness he had to get away when he couldn't. All of that had been the Force. And now it was gone. When he'd woken up in his cabin, he'd felt stretched every direction. Now, it was like he was crammed into his own head, and that it was too small. He couldn't sense anyone around him, and it scared him. He'd _always_ known when there were others around him. It was like he was wading in a river, surrounded by others. And now, not having that... It was like the river had dried up, and a dust storm had blown through. He was blind, deaf, and numb, unable to find his way. No, it didn't scare him. It _terrified_ him. And Kanan had... Kanan had done this to him. The one person he trusted more than anyone else... and he'd been betrayed. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and burying his head into them, and started to cry.

He didn't stop until he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 8/29/19

It had been 2 days, and no one had seen Ezra, and Hera was beside herself with worry. Everyone had been instructed to keep an eye out for him and to report in if they saw him, but there hadn't been any reports. Not even from the mess hall, which worried her more. Was he eating? What condition would he be in when they found him? She knew that Ahsoka and Kanan were looking out for him, but she couldn't agree with them on not telling Ezra what they were doing first. She'd had some very choice words for Kanan after she'd been told, and given that the few times she'd seen him since then he'd ducked his head and not met her eyes, he seemed suitable chastised. She was focusing on these thoughts so much that she almost missed the muffled sound. She stopped, looking around for the source, but saw nothing. She waited, and heard it again. It was like something was moving.

Looking around again, she spotted the faint outline of a door. A supply closet, no doubt, made to be as unobtrusive as possible. Triggering the door, she stepped inside, peering into the room that had no light other than that from the hallway.

“Ezra?” she called softly, not knowing if this was where he'd been.

She could see some things shifting in the back of the room, and a head of dark blue-black hair popped up slowly.

“H-hera?” he asked, his voice raspy from disuse.

“Ezra, I'm here,” she took a few steps toward the back, wanting to get to him, but there were obstacles in her way.

“H-how do I k-know that it's r-really you?” His voice shook, and Hera could tell that it wasn't just lack of food that was his problem. “I-I can s-see you, b-but I c-can't f-feel you...” He shook his head, and curled back down into his corner. “Wh-what if y-you're just another h-hal-hallucination?”

“Ezra, hon, calm down. I promise you, this is me.” She had finally reached him, and knelt down in front of him. “Here, feel my hand.”

He glanced up at her, his eyes looking far too large, even in the darkness. He tentatively reached out, but before he could pull his hand back, she had grabbed it. “See? You can feel me. You know I'm here.”

“K-know someone's here. Might not be H-hera. C-can't tell. C-can't _feel_ anything. C-can't tell r-real from i-illusion...”

Keeping a grip on his hand, she pulled him to her, laying his head against her chest. “Shhh, Ezra, _listen_. Can you hear my heartbeat? You've known me for around a year. You know me. Does this feel like me?”

Not trusting his voice anymore, Ezra nodded weakly.

“C'mon, let's get you out of here. Do you want something to eat?” She felt another nod at her chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she slowly lifted the two back to their feet, and helped him maneuver to the door and back out to the hallway.

Instantly, Ezra shied back and tried to escape back into the storage room. “Ezra?”

“T-too bright!”

Hera cursed silently to herself. Of course, after being in the dark for two days, the bright lights of the rest of the ship would be too much for his sensitive eyes. “I'm sorry, Ezra. If you keep your eyes closed, I can lead you to the mess hall.”

Ezra shook his head violently. “No!” he shouted.

She frowned. “Ezra, what's wrong?”

“C-cant feel... c-can't tell what's around m-me...”

She knelt down in front of him, pulling him to her once again. “Ezra, do you trust me?” She felt his nod against her chest. “Would I ever lead you astray?” He shook his head. “Then will you trust me now? I promise I can lead you safely to the mess hall, to get you some food, okay?” She practically held her breath as she waited for a response, but finally the nod came, and she again helped him to his feet. “Okay, let's go.”

~~~~~

There were no comments made to them as they traveled the halls, the proud Twi'lek captain's glare making it clear that nothing was to be said to the boy clinging to her chest. When they reached the mess hall, Hera led him to an empty corner, and guided him to sit down.

“Keep your eyes shielded, but try to acclimate them to the light. I'm going to go get you some food. Will you be alright here?” Ezra nodded weakly, covering his eyes with his hands as he opened them, shading them from the harsh glare of the lights. She squeezed his shoulder, and then stepped away to get him food.

Ezra wanted nothing more than to curl up, to run back to his supply closet (though he wasn't sure he could find his way again). He could _hear_ conversations and the sounds of eating, but as far as he could sense, he was alone not only in the room, but the entire ship. At least when he was alone, in the dark, he could pretend that he was. Here, though, it was too hard. He started shaking, and when he'd finally decided that he was going to bolt...

“Ezra?” Hera's voice broke him out of his panic attack, as she sat a bowl of soup and a glass of water in front of him. “Ezra, talk to me, are you alright?”

“I-it's... it feels like there's no one here. I c--- I can't do this!” His voice hitched halfway through, and she wrapped his arms around him. “We _will_ find a way to fix this, Ezra. Trust me.” She glanced down at the food she'd brought. “But you do need to get food in you. We'll leave as soon as you eat.” He nodded, and picked up the spoon to eat the soup.

~~~~~

Food seemed to be exactly what Ezra needed at that point. By the time he was almost done eating, he'd calmed down significantly, and his voice wasn't cracking anymore when Hera asked him questions. If she didn't know better, she'd almost think that things were back to normal. Of course, it couldn't last.

“Hera...” Ezra said quietly. Her attention was instantly on him. “Something's wrong.”

“Did you eat too much? Did it disagree with you?”

“No, it's not...” His eyes went wide. “Hera! Back away, now!”

She was confused, but knew that tone of voice, and complied immediately. Unfortunately, she didn't get far enough away, and she was hit with some sort of shockwave, though not heavily. Others nearby weren't quite so lucky, especially not having had warning. She could hear people groaning and shaking themselves off, with a few exclamations of minor injury and more of confusion. Hera looked back to Ezra, who was laying on the floor unmoving. She ran to him, but he was unresponsive to her calling his name or shaking him.

She looked around for anyone she knew. “I need help taking him to the med bay, immediately!” A couple people she didn't know by name, only by sight, stepped forward, and between the three of them, they managed to get him to the med bay.

~~~~~

Ezra blinked his eyes open, and was surprised to see Kanan, Hera, and Ahsoka waiting for him. “Ka-nan?” Ezra's voice had a bit of a sing-song tone to it. “What's going on?”

Kanan reached over and squeezed his Padawan's hand. “You gave Hera quite a fright. Sent out a Force burst right in the mess hall.”

Ezra thought on this, and realized that the feeling he'd come to recognize as the Force was back. But he still felt off. “Something's wrong...”

Hera chuckled. “The medics were worried about you running off, so they gave you a mild sedative. You're pretty dehydrated still, they don't want you pulling out the IV.”

“How are you feeling, Force-wise?” Ahsoka asked, finally speaking up.

“I...” Ezra paused. “Everything feels back to normal. Well, normal I guess. Like it's always been.”

The two Jedi shared a look, and Hera ruffled Ezra's hair. “Those two still aren't sure exactly what happened, but it seems like the Force suppressant 'reset' your connection and fixed the problem.”

“You mean, like when a droid isn't working, so you turn it off and turn it back on again?” Hera nodded. Ezra glanced at the door, then back at Hera. “Don't tell Chopper, please?”

All four of them laughed. It seemed like Ezra was back to his normal self. Kanan stood, placing his hand on Ezra's shoulder and squeezed. “Get some rest. We'll come get you when the medics say you're good to go.”

Hera put her hand over his. “And don't worry about any chores or duties aboard the _Ghost_ that you're neglecting. _Kanan_ will be handling those for you. For a while.” The tone in her voice told Kanan that she was still mad over everything, and he was smart enough not to argue.

“Thanks, guys.” Ezra's eyes were already drooping, and the three slipped out and let him sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Join the Rebels Discord! https://discord.gg/JZ3Xzjd


End file.
